More Tales of an Elf
by Valanya
Summary: The sequel to Tales of an Elf! All there is to say, really...please r&r. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, this is (unsurprisingly) the sequel to "Tales of an Elf". I hope you enjoy :D

_Disclaimer: I don't own Legolas (dammit!) I don't own any other LOTR character. I do own the plot and any character that you don't recognise._

It was raining. The leaves on the trees were rustling in the slight wind. An elf wandered through the wood, before looking around him and shouting:

"OH GOD NOT HERE!!! PLEASE SAY THIS IS ALL A DREAM!!!"

But, oh no Legolas, it isn't. Legolas sat against a tree and pouted at being thrown back into the fanfic he's hoped he'd escaped from forever. Just then, a cheery voice sounded from nearby.

"Hello Legolas! Fancy meeting you here, on such a, erm, fine day!"

Legolas looked up, to find a hobbit looking expectantly at him.

"Hey Frodo. Er, where's Aragorn?"

"Dunno."

"Oh great, I have to do ANOTHER of these fics and I don't even have Aragorn to spend it with?!"

"Oh, no, my mistake, he's over there."

And with that Frodo smiled a cheery hobbit smile and…vanished into thin air. Legolas didn't have much time to wonder at the vanishing hobbit, because precisely 2.69375 seconds later Aragorn tripped over him.

"Hi Aragorn."

"Oh no! She didn't get you too?!" 

"No, I am a figment of your imagination. In actual fact I am at home in the bath. Of course she got me too, nitwit!" 

"Oh yeah. Sorry."

"What were you running for, anyway? Saw another crow?"

"No! I thought, maybe if I run really really fast I'll be able to get out."

Me: Nope.

"It was worth a try."

So Aragorn and Legolas (or should that be Legolas and Aragorn? Legolas arrived first, after all) began to do what they do best: wandering aimlessly while they wait for plot. They were just rounding a bush when they heard something. Something that sounded remarkably like a sheep's baa. They turned around and there was…A SHEEP!

"Baa!"

  
"Is that all you ever say?" Asked Legolas.

"No. I also do chicken impressions!" The sheep clucked around in a circle for a minute or two, to the utter bewilderment of the elf and the king. Eventually she stopped and proceeded to stare at them.

"Erm…well done!" said Aragorn, a little belatedly.

"Thank you." The sheep grinned from ear to ear. Don't ask me how.

"So, what's your name and what are you doing?" Legolas enquired.

"My name is Louise the Sheep, and the reason I'm here is because I'm a sheep. Anyway, what are you doing here, shouldn't you be off combing your hair?" sniggered Louise the Sheep.

Legolas looked hurt, and his hand instinctively moved to cover the pocket where he kept his favourite comb. Louise the Sheep, with her damned good eyesight, noticed and threw her head back to laugh.

"Ha ha! That where you keep your travelling comb is it?!"

"No!"

"It's where he keeps his favourite one. He can't leave home without it!"

"**_Aragorn!_**_"_

Me: Er, guys, this isn't supposed to be one of those fics where Legs spends all his time looking in a mirror. Louise the Sheep, if you have to tease him about something, choose something else.

"Okay" said Louise the Sheep, hanging her head in shame. She perked up in time to say, "Your clothes are weird!"

"Hey!" Complained Aragorn, "You're upsetting the elf!"

She stuck her tongue out at him (again, don't ask me how. Maybe she was a magical sheep or something.) With a parting shot of "Big ears!" she ran away into the undergrowth.

"Well, that was different." Remarked Aragorn.

"You don't think she's gonna come back, do you?" asked Legolas, staring worriedly after her.

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Thanks for reading! Please R&R! Oh, and don't hesitate to send Legs and Arry your messages!


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: The usual. See first chapter._

"I sincerely doubt it." Replied Aragorn, doing his best to reassure the elf. As a matter of fact, he thought it very likely that Louise the Sheep would reappear at some time in the future, but he had the nagging feeling that Legolas wouldn't appreciate being told that.

As it turned out, Legolas wasn't really listening to his reply anyway. He had more pressing matters to wonder on:

"Hey, what happened to the rain?"

Me: Are you complaining that I stopped it so you wouldn't get soaked?

"No, but what was the point in starting off with it if you were going to stop it?"

Me: Fine, fine, have your damned rain back!

Immediately it began to pour with rain again. Only a hell of a lot harder. Within minutes Legolas and Aragorn were soaked.

"Ok, I'm sorry! Can you take the rain off again now?"

Nothing.

"Please?"

Me: Oh, if I must.

"She wouldn't have done that for me." Aragorn grumbled.

"That, Aragorn, is because I'm more persuasive."

Me: And really hot.

"That too."

After that, Aragorn took to mumbling under his breath a lot as they continued to make their way through the unnamed wood.

"You know that I can hear every word you're saying, right?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then why are you saying some of it?"

"Because I know you can hear me. _Duh._"

"Oh. Erm, ok then."

"One day you'll understand, Legolas. One day."

Me: We can only hope. 

The continued walking, Legolas still checking 'round occasionally for the sheep. He had a feeling that it would haunt his dreams.

Me: Excuse me, _dreams?_ There is no way I'm allowing you to sleep through this.

"She means it, you know" warned Aragorn. Arwen had been somewhat surprised at the bruise Legolas' kick had given him last time. Still, if Legolas went to sleep it would give him the chance to wreak his revenge.

Me: Nobody is going to sleep, got it?

"I'm not so sure about that squirrel" Legs pointed to the squirrel in question, which certainly did look very sleepy. Suddenly it perked up, and ran along its branch, now very awake and alert.

Me: Told you. Believe me now?

"Yes, ok, I believe you. Don't you have some plot to be getting on with?"

Me: Nope.

"But this is a story, right?"

Me: Yup.

"So there has to be plot."

Me: *Evil grin* Not the way I tell 'em.

"The you tell them wrong."

Me: Which of us is writing the fanfic here? And which of us has the power to do anything she likes to a certain elf who is annoying her?

"You *gulps*"

Me: Exactly. And therefore which of us might want to shut up now?

"I'll stop speaking now."

Me: Good. Now let me get on with the damn story.

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Review replies from me...

c-marabini - Thanks! Though I was hardly away for long...lol.

Dreamality - Thank you! By the way (because she'll kill me if I don't mention it) Louise the Sheep happens to be based on one of my best mates :D 

Aragorn replies...

c-marabini - Well, I was planning on teasing him mercilessly, but seeing as you asked I won't...much.

Dreamality - Upset children? Which children? Where?

Legolas replies...

c-marabini - I hope he doesn't tease me either. Thank you for your wishes of good luck. I'm sure I'll need them.

Dreamality - Please forgive me for not calling! When I got back I was just so busy! And I can't call you now I'm back in this fic. Well, I suppose I could borrow Aragorn's phone...though there's not much point, seeing as I'm not at home for you to visit.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Very very sorry for the originally mix up with this chapter (i.e., I accidentally posted the wrong chapter) 'Tis entirely my fault, I simply didn't look closely enough at the title when I uploaded it. However, here is the CORRECT chapter. Enjoy!

_Disclaimer: You **must** know where to find it by now!_

"Y'know, traditionally the third chapter is where the plot begins." Said Aragorn hopefully.

Me: Just because that's how it happened last time doesn't make it a tradition. Being all king-y as you are, shouldn't you know stuff like that?

"I _did_ know it. I was just hoping you didn't."

Me: That's what they all say.

"No it isn't" 

Me:…Shurup Aragorn.

Meanwhile, Legolas was becoming more and more worried. He was certain he kept hear far-off "baaa"s.

"_Baaaaaaaaaaaaa…………_"

"Aragorn! Did you hear that???"

"Nope."

"I heard a baa!" 

"You're just paranoid."

"No he's not."

"Stop speaking about yourself in the third person Legolas. It's annoying."

"I didn't!"

"He really didn't."

A woolly head appeared from the undergrowth. Legolas jumped into Aragorn's arms in fright. Unfortunately, Aragorn wasn't expecting him to, and dropped the elf on the ground.

"Haha!" laughed the sheep, before adding "Legolas is a scaredy cat! Sheep phobia!"

Legolas, however, was far too busy trying to crawl away to listen to what she had to say. Sadly for the elf, that didn't stop him hearing. And the thing that did stop him getting away was the author using the magic of the fanfic to pull him back.

Me: Come of Legolas, what sort of an elf is afraid of a sheep?

"She's not a regular sheep!"

"That's very hurtful! I'm a perfectly normal sheep!"

"Then how come you can talk?"

"…Good point. Guess you were right after all. But that shade of green _so_ does not go with your complexion! I'd expect an elf to have more taste!"

"Authoress?"

Me: Yeah Legs?

"Does she have to be so mean?"

Me: Hmm, let me see…yes.

"Why?"

Me: Because that's what she does.

"It's my entire purpose in life. And arrows are completely out of fashion."

"No they're not!"

"Whatever, elf boy."

"Hey, I'm not getting half enough attention here!" Aragorn protested, having not said anything or been mentioned for the last 19 paragraphs (yes, I counted.)

"Awww, is the little king feeling unloved?"

Me: You're here to make fun of Legolas, not Aragorn, Louise the Sheep.

"Not fair, Legolas even gets things especially to make fun of HIM. Why can't I have that?" muttered Aragorn.

Me: You really want something to make your time in this fanfic even worse?

"No, no! I'm fine! Happy! I don't need a sheep!"

Me: Ok, calm down! Anyway, Louise the Sheep, don't you have somewhere to be?

"Yeah yeah. Why do I have to disappear at the end of each chapter I'm in?"

Me: So I'm not forced to put you in the next one.

"Charming."

She turned her back on the author and ambled off back into the undergrowth, FROM WHENCE SHE HAD COME!

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Review replies from me...

Uineniel - You can't fault a bit of random oddness! Glad you're enjoying :D

Dreamality - Lol, thanks! Louise (the human) is very chuffed that you're such a fan. She keeps telling me how to reply to her fans. The fame has gone to her head, lol.

c-marabini - Yes, thoughts of that kind can do wonders to cheer up a bad day, can't they? Must remember that for my SATs in May. When nothing else can get you through a science exam, think of Legolas. Hmmm, maybe that should be my new motto. 

Aragorn replies...

Dreamality - I'll co-operate. I swear!

c-marabini - Thank you for your charming message. It made my day to get some more support through this fic *looks pointedly at author*

Legolas replies...

Dreamality - My dearest Dreamality, please forgive me but your game doesn't look quite so fun to me. However, I would still love you to come and stay...in the somewhat distant future.

c-marabini - A good thought it may be, but rather uncomfortable also.


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Usual, blah blah blah. And if you don't know what the blahs stand for, go and look at the first page. And if you can't go and look at the third page then your computer is probably broken, rendering you unable to change the web page showing. So you'll just have to read this chapter over and over and over and over and over again until the nice local computer guy calls round and fixes it for you. _

Just a few seconds later Louise the Sheep ambled back out of the undergrowth.

"It's too prickly to go through there. So I'm coming back to torment you."

"Wonderful."

Me: Stop being sarcastic Legolas.

"I keep telling you, I'm Aragorn!"

Me: …No you don't.

"Well, there was that time you called me an elf!"

Me: And I told you then, that was just because elf sounded better in that sentence.

"So why did you call me Legolas just then?"

Me: *shrugs* Felt like it.

"Oh. Alright then…"

Me: Good. Now, go away Louise the Sheep.

"Aww, why?"

Me: I don't need you at the moment and you're holding up my story.

Louise the Sheep stalked away into the woods, muttering angrily to herself. Legolas turned and beamed in the general direction of the author. 

"Thank you."

Me: You're welcome.

Now that the sheep was gone, Legolas walked confidently in front of Aragorn, no longer afraid that she was just around the corner…bush. In fact, he was walking ahead so confidently and brightly that he completely failed to notice the whacking great hole in the middle of the path. Even more surprisingly, neither did Aragorn who was some metres behind. Thankfully, the hole wasn't too deep, just deep enough to make sure they couldn't climb out.

"Aragorn, we're stuck."

"I noticed."

"Do you think it was Louise the Sheep?"

Me: It wasn't her. It's just a plot device.

"That's a relief."

"To you maybe, but in the meantime we're still stuck in a hole with no way to get out."

"At least the sheep can't get us."

"Unless she comes wandering along and falls in the hole too. Then we'd all be stuck together."

"AAAARGH! LEMME OUT! HEEEELP!!!"

As Legolas panicked, Aragorn sighed.

"Legolas, if you'd just calm down I think I can get us out of here."

"Really?"

"Yup."

 "Ok then." True to his word, Legs stopped panicking, and instead looked expectantly at his friend.

"Right Legolas, I'll give you a boost so you can climb out, then you pull me up, ok?"

Five minutes later, they were sat on the grass by the hole.

"Now what?"

"Heck, it's your turn for the plan!"

"What do we need a plan for?"

"…I don't know!"

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Review replies from me...

c-marabini - I have to apologise to Legs about putting Louise the Sheep in...however, it does make good bargaining. In Louise (my friend who the sheep is based on) annoys me I warn her I'll kill her character. Works every time :D

Dreamality - Glad you liked it! Trust me, Legs gets plenty of love...what do you think he's doing in between chapters? Lol, kidding. Unfortunately.

Aragorn replies...

c-marabini - I am indeed the king! And king I shall stay. I'm worth two of that elf...right?

Dreamality - Believe me, you don't want to get Arwen mad. It's not a pretty sight. Erm, I mean it's the most beautiful sight I've ever seen!

Legolas replies...

c-marabini - Don't worry, I never listen to Aragorn when he starts showing off anyway.

Dreamality - Of course you're my dearest (after all, how many other people call Dreamality have you ever met?) But please don't squeal too loud, it hurts my ears. Thank you for promising to complain to Louise the Sheep. If you met her, you would truly understand how scary she is.

Louise the Sheep replies...

c-marabini - Thanks!! I'm loving this fame my mate Luce is giving me... I hope you had fun reading her fics and be warned! If you hear the sound of distant baa'ing, lock all your doors and windows... {Louise the Sheep is Coming}

Dreamality - Legolas gets no love because he gets enough already in like all his fan mail and crap... So me, being a evil sheep as I am, thought that he needed some one to take the pee out of him for once since all he 

ever gets is llluuuurrrrvveee 8-) Thanks for your support in the evil sheep campaign{Louise the Sheep is coming}


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: To all my lovely reviewers, so so sorry it took me this long to write a new chapter. You see, just after I posted the last one my computer broke, and it hasn't been ready to use until today. I assure you I will probably wear my fingers down to the bone typing this as fast a humanly possible.

_Disclaimer: See every other chapter._

Me: You need a plan so you can work out why there is a big hole in the ground.

"Oh, yeah! I knew that!"

"Whatever Aragorn."

"If it weren't for me you'd be still panicking and running around the inside of the hole!"

"So?"

"Be thankful."

Me: Are you going to try and find out about the hole in the ground or not?

"Well, last time the monster kinda came to us. We may as well sit around and wait for it."

Me: Well…go looking for it anyway!

"Ok, ok keep your hair on."

They stood up and walked firmly away from the hole. They hadn't gone far when they spotted the makings of a whole new hole. They new at once that it was only the makings of one, because it was still being dug. Aragorn approached carefully, trying to get a better look at the guy with the spade.

"Hey, Aragorn, who is it?" Legolas yelled. Aragorn turned angrily to him.

"Legolas, what is it with you and alerting bad guys to our presence?"

"Sorry."

They turned back to the hole, from which the guy with the spade was staring at them in a puzzled way.

"Who are you?"

"We could ask you the same question. And why are you digging big holes?"

"I'm Spade Guy and I'm digging holes because I'm EVIL!"

"Legolas' sheep is more evil than you."

  
"Hey! a) She's not mine and b) she's more evil than anything! She's the devil in sheep's clothing or something!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

"Are you forgetting about me? I'm EVIL!"

"Authoress, he's kinda weedy. Are you sure he's gonna last longer than a couple of chapters?"

Me: I'm sure.

Just then, the rather weedy Spade Guy transformed into a huge muscled Spade Guy.

"Aragorn, did you have to say that?"

"Trust me I'm wishing I hadn't."

"Not as much as you're going to."

"Aragorn?"

"Yes?"

"Can we run now?"

"That would probably be a good plan."

They set off as fast as they could move, leaving Spade Guy laughing behind them. In fact, they didn't stop running until they tripped over something suspiciously woolly.

"Ah, it's my favourite elf!"

"Help me, Aragorn!"

Unfortunately, Aragorn was far too busy laughing his head off at the expression on Legolas' face to be of any assistance.

"Aww, can't the elf deal with a little sheep on his own?"

"Aragorn!!!"

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My review replies…

Dreamality – Thanks :) Definitely better late than never…as I hope this chapter proves.

c-marabini – Thank you! The hole thing was kinda an after thought…had a bit of writers block.

Aragorn replies…

Dreamality – I'm not too worried about the sheep. Can't think why Legolas is so scared of her…

c-marabini – I suppose I must have gotten a bit rusty since I became king. At least it taught me to be more on my guard.

Legolas replies…

Dreamality – Don't worry, no harm's been done. To my ears anyway. I appreciate your help with the Sheep. But she doesn't tend to listen to many people…

c-marabini – Some habits are very good to keep. Thank you for the luck.

Louise the Sheep replies…

Dreamality – I'm sorry to disappoint you, but sheep usually fall over in a ball of furry sheep if some one nudges them, never mind though, I get the hint and will keep trying (like I have to it's so easy) to be mean to Legs.

c-marabini - Well, at least some one listens to my remarks apart from an over scared elf I like to called whitey (proper name Legolas). BAA BAA you have all been warned....!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Ok guys, chapter 6 of More Tales of an Elf. I think the next one will probably be the last, and I doubt I'll make it a trilogy so ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN!!!

_Disclaimer: Surely you don't need me to type it out by now, do you? Oh alright, "I don't own Legolas or Aragorn, but I do own Louise the Sheep, Spade Guy and the unnamed wood._

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"Legolas, it's a sheep! What do you have to be scared of? Your winter clothes are probably knitted out of one of its relations!"

"You're really not helping, Aragorn!"

Louise the Sheep stamped angrily, "Is that true? Do you wear one of my family?!"

"No! No, he's lying!"

"I bet the wool's dyed green too. Do you elves have no variation? I bet even your outfits for special occasions are green!"

Me: Oh leave him alone.

"Awww, but-"

Me: No buts! Stop teasing the elf!

"I have a name, you know."

Me: I'm _trying_ to stop the sheep picking on you Legolas!

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

"You mean I can't ever pick on him again?" Louise the Sheep stared disbelievingly at the sky. "That's not fair! You can't take away my entire purpose in life!"

Me: You do have a good point. Ok, you can tease him. Just not at vital plot moments, ok?

"Like we have any vital plot moments." Aragorn muttered, having lost all interest in the conversation.

"Well I'm off. Got a lot of baa-ing to do, know what I'm saying?" With that Louise the Sheep sped off into the unnamed wood like a jet-propelled sheep.

With her gone, Aragorn and Legolas could finally get down to more important tasks.

"Snap!"

"Not fair! You cheated!"

"Did not! It's not my fault if I happen to have superior sight and reflexes to a human!"

Me: Cut it out you two! Remember Spade Guy? You still haven't defeated him!

The man and the elf put away their cards (in a handy box) and pondered upon the problem of Spade Guy. At last Aragorn spoke up.

"Y'know, I bet all his power's in his spade. Why else would he be names Spade Guy?"

"Perhaps he isn't. The Fire Breathing Thing was actually called Ernie."

"Yeah, but he was named after his main strength, wasn't he? And when we got rid of that he became much nicer. I hear he's making quite a lot of money out of being a singing postman."

"Ok then. Guess we'd better go break his sword then."

"Yeah. Erm, do you remember what direction he's in?"

"No, Aragorn."

"Good job I remember then. Come on."

And so it was that Aragorn led them to where Spade Guy was just finishing his hole.

"Didn't I scare you away enough last time?"

"We weren't scared. We were merely retreating to form a plan of action."

  
Me: Then you tripped over the sheep and got **really** scared.

Aragorn, who really couldn't care less about Legolas' fear of Louise the Sheep, stepped up to the side of the hole.

"You know, that really is a very nice hole. I bet you're spade's top of the range."

"Well, it _is_ pretty good."

"I can tell that from way over here. Could I possibly have a closer look?"

"Sure thing." 

Spade Guy tossed Aragorn the spade. Aragorn immediately jumped out of reach, waving said spade and yelling "I've got your spade; I've got your spade!"

Legolas stared in amazement; he'd thought Aragorn was above all that. Even as Spade Guy began to climb out of his hole, Aragorn lifted the spade and broke it over his knee. Immediately Spade Guy began to shrink, and soon was back to his weedy looking self.

"Hey! Now what am I going to do to earn money?"

Seeing Aragorn look somewhat taken aback, Legolas decided to step in.

"Do you sing?"

"Err…sometimes, when nobody's listening…"

A look of understanding dawned on Aragorn's face. "Do you like letters?"

"Who doesn't!"

"Then I may have the perfect career for you, my friend!" Aragorn looked purposefully in the direction of the author "May I?"

By the magic of the fanfic, Aragorn's trusty phone appeared in his hand. He punched in a random number, and by sheer luck it was the one he needed.

"Hello, is that Ernie the singing postman? Hi Ernie, remember me? Ok then, remember Legolas? Yeah, the weird guy with the long blonde hair…anyway, what would you say to having a singing partner? Really? I have just the guy!" He put his hand over the mouth piece. "Hey, Spade Guy, what's your name?"

"Norman."

"His name's Norman…so he can have the job? Great! We're in that wood again, next to a really big hole. Come and find us."

Just a few seconds later Ernie the singing postman arrived on the scene, whistling a jaunty tune. He looked Norman up and down.

"Perfect. Here's your uniform. Hi Legolas, been using plenty of conditioner? Anyway, must be off, bye!"

Ernie grabbed Norman and sped off at the speed of a singing postman, leaving a laughing Aragorn and a glowering Legolas in his wake.

"That wasn't funny Aragorn."

"What wasn't funny?"

"The remark about my hair care habits."

"Hahahahahahaha!!!"

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A/N: Wow, that chapter ended up longer than I thought it would…yay me.

My review replies…

c-marabini – Thanks :D Glad you enjoyed it.

Dreamality – Thankfully computer is working perfectly again. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Tears Of Eternal Darkness – Legs gets that a lot, lol. 

Aragorn replies…

c-marabini – Yes, Legolas' scared expression is absolutely hilarious. You really should see it sometime…

Dreamality – I'm sure I could handle even several sheep at once…have you no faith in me?

Legolas replies…

c-marabini – I'm fine thank you (despite she sheep's best efforts…) Hopefully Aragorn will give up his rather annoying habit of laughing at me soon. 

Dreamality – I would love it if you would come visit sometime. And that sometime should be soon, as I have been promised only one more chapter to endure!

Spade Guy (Norman) reply…

c-marabini – I hope I was kind enough. I'm so glad to be out of the evil business, being a singing postman is much nicer.

Louise the sheep reply…

Dreamality - Haha, it's alright, I had it checked out by my sheep doctor, Mr Sheep Doctor, he's very... sheepish, any way, I'm fine; Legolas and his sheer blonde hair will not escape the clutches of Louise the Sheep! Wuahahahah!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Here it is guys: the last chapter of More Tales of an Elf. Hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as the last six…thirteen if you count Tales of an Elf.

_Disclaimer: This is the 7th chapter. You cannot tell me you don't know it by now. I refuse to believe you._

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Legolas lovingly grabbed Aragorn's hair and yanked it. Hard.

"Owwww!!!"

"Serves you right."

"…fair enough."

Me: Wow…I think that was the quickest settled fight you guys ever had.

"Whatever other people may say, violence really is the answer."

Me: If you say so, King-boy.

"So…erm…now what do we do?"

Me: I don't know! It's the last chapter, go wander about or blow kisses at your fans or something!

"Wanna wander with me Legs?"

"Sure thing."

So Aragorn and Legolas wandered off in the general direction of…er…a tree, leaving several disappointed fans behind them.

Me: You know, you two just wondering about is really boring. Ok, I'm gonna take you on a really quick tour of all the places you've been since this fic started, ok?

"Erm, not really…"

Unfortunately the author wasn't in the slightest bit interested in what they had to say of the matter, and the scenery around them started changing from one thing to another at a dizzying speed. They saw again the pond-like river, the cavern, a huge hole and trees. Loads of trees. After a few seconds (they really hadn't been to many places) it stopped and they were back in the bit of unnamed wood they had been in before.

"Well, that was fun."

"Please tell me you're being sarcastic."

"I am."

"Oh. Good."

  
"So, um, authoress, what _is_ the name of this wood? Are you ever going to tell us?"

Me: Yup. I am indeed, my dear elf.

"Let me guess: it's called the unnamed wood, right?"

Me: Aww, now you spoiled the surprise.

Aragorn and Legolas exchanged wearied glances, deciding not to follow that up. Thankfully, at that moment, a certain sheep jumped out on to the path.

"Oh no" groaned Legolas. The sheep just gave him a rather puzzled look, before hopping away through the trees. No sooner had it disappeared than the one and only LOUISE THE SHEEP appeared in front of them.

"Wow. Never knew I could appear out of thin air."

Me: You can't. It was me.

  
"Oh. Hey, I thought anything could happen in a fanfic. Why can't I have the ability to appear and disappear at will?

Me: Because Will doesn't like it. Now get on with teasing Legolas.

"Hey Legolas you have…er…goddamnit I've run out of insults!"

"But there's so much to work with!"

Me: Aragorn, I'm warning you….

"Ok, ok! Sorry!"

"Oh I got one! Legolas, you're a scaredy-elf!"

"…am not."

Me: Legs, you're scared of a sheep.

"Hey, don't be mean!"

"Sorry, it's my job!"

Me: Ok, that's enough. Louise the Sheep, you gotta go on home now.

"Can I at least say bye to my fans?"

Me: Ok.

"Bye."

And the sheep trotted off, never to be heard of again.

"Well, that was random."

Me: Isn't everything in this fic, Aragorn?

"I never thought of that..."

Me: Obviously. Now, do you guys wanna go home now or not?

"Oh god, please don't make us stay!"

Me: Somebody calm the elf down. Now guys, before you go, do I need to remind you what to do?

Once more Legs and Aragorn turned towards the readers and chanted "Thanks very much to all readers and reviewers, especially Dreamality who's been with us from the very beginning. And of course we can't forget c-marabini either, who'd been a great regular reviewer."

Me: That's great. Ok, you can go now.

Legolas and Aragorn vanished even before they'd finished their leaps of joy.

THE END!!!!!

*************************************

My review replies…

Dreamality – I'm sorry to leave behind this fic, but it seems the right time to end. Besides, I'm having a hell of a time balancing this and "Interesting" (my POTC fic) so I want time to concentrate just on that. Yup, that title does have a nice ring to it, but most people who've ever read any of this know it from the "Tales of an Elf" title, so probably best to leave it at that. Thanks for being my best reviewer :D

c-marabini – Thanks :) I'm sad to finish it too, but I think it's time to concentrate on other things.

Tears Of Eternal Darkness – Thank you, hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Laseri – Thanks for your review. Glad you've enjoyed it.

Aragorn replies…

c-marabini – What do I drink at my parties? Wine, usually. 

Dreamality – I always knew you did. Thankfully I can go back to Gondor now. Nobody ever mentioned fanfics as part of my duties…

Legolas replies…

Dreamality – As soon as I get back home, I shall send a message to you. Unless, as you say, another author abducts me. If so, feel free to roam Mirkwood until my return.

Laseri – I'm afraid I cannot stay any longer…what am I saying? Afraid? I'm free at last!

c-marabini – Troy? I have never heard of it…there does seem to be somebody who looks remarkably like me doing all these things…wonder who he is.

Norman (spade guy) replies...

c-marabini – Ernie says hi. Maybe sometime we'll come and deliver your post.

Dreamality – Thanks for your confidence. I had no idea being a singing postman paid so well. 

Louise the Sheep replies…

Dreamality - he is wonderful!! Pretty sexy in a sheep way too...

c-marabini - keep baaing... never stop! Or you're going to drop!!! waaaaahahah  
  
Laseri - I won't tell him... just ring him and tell him tonight… then call him blondy :D

To all my people... worshippers and general sheep fans - I am sad to say goodbye to you all! But goodbye and remember!!!   
Ever hear the sound of distant baa-ing... hide Legolas and lock all doors and windows {Louise the Sheep is coming!!!}

A/N: That's it folks! But never fear, if you are a Will (Turner) fan, then I still have a Will/you fic in the process of being written, called Interesting (what's wrong with a bit of shameless self advertising?) Anyway, thanks once more to my reviewers, and of course to my wonderful beta-reader Louise (yes, the inspiration for Louise the Sheep!) Bye!


End file.
